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*We read the letters sent and write our responses separately to get the initial and truest reactions then converse for our "compromise.*
Dear HTSS:
Dear HTSS,
I met this dude here in Los Angeles a few weeks back and that very same night we must’ve talked on the phone for hours, I cant remember the last time I did that with someone. He seemed like everything I ever looked for, he’s fine, great job, not too young and we have so much fun. So needless to say… yes I already let him hit.. and it was great! So let’s skip to the problem, I went to this club in Hollywood recently, and told him I would be there and later on that night, I saw him there. He approached me, came up and hugged me and it was cool, then he began to hug each one of my friends and I was kinda shocked that he knew them all, and real quick it became awkward. So of course when he walked away I asked my girls what was up, how did they all know him. Turns out he used to sleep with one of my girls, well and another girl I know too. Now they didn’t date like that, but she was sure talking about how much sex they had and I was like man, should I be dating this guy? I wasn’t even sure that I should have said to them that he and I had been dating, it was like he was a jump off for chicks, like he was easy and it turned me off. I know men are far more promiscuous than women but now I just don’t know about him.
Signed,
Thought He Was the One.
He Talks:
Dear Thought He Was the One,
Come on! The world is a tiny place, especially with Facebook and Twitter and if you've lived in the same city for a while. The chances of you meeting someone that NONE of your friends knows is highly unlikely. So come to grips with that and understand that EVERYONE has a past, including you. It might be a little awkward for you to personally know his past but as you said, "they didn't date like that." So candidly talk to him about it. See where he stands because it might be uncomfortable for him too. If he's really into you, it all comes down to your comfort and confidence level. Could you be around him and your friends and be ok? Look, if you plan on seriously seeing this guy, "him and your friends" should be discussed but the situation doesn't necessarily have to be a deal breaker.
She Speaks:
Dear Thought He Was the One,
This problem is all too common, in big cities, in small cities, everywhere there is internet, the six degrees of separation get even smaller. However, let’s get a few things in perspective... is the goal to meet someone who no one knows or is it to find someone compatible for your life? No one is going to be perfect, but the key is to find someone that is perfect for you.
Now while I understand if this man dated say, your best friend, or sister, or someone of relevance, and the situation between them was significant, than it is probably not the best situation to get involved in. However if he was just some random man that your friend, or your friend’s friend met, hung out with etc, then I wouldn’t think it should be a big deal if you started dating them. What if he is your “soul” mate the one you were suppose to meet at that very moment and along the way to you, he met a few random others that you happen to also know. I believe in fate, that everything happens for a reason, so take into account when deciding how much this guy is or is not right for you and I would also recommend that if he did “date” a friend of yours, talk to both him and to her to see how serious it was or was not.
They Say:
We both agree that the internet has vastly made whom we "know" far greater, and chances of meeting someone that no one knows or no one has dated are going to be like finding a needle in a haystack. The importance is the true connection between you and him, and if any of the situations prior to you were significant enough to be a factor.
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